I have this very dear friend who has been in my life for as long as I can remember. There was a time that we were so close. I could tell this person pretty much anything. We were both of the mindset that we would always be there for each other. No matter how much time has passed if one of us called & needed anything we could always reach out.
Like many relationships things change. We get busy, we have families and obligations to take care of that seem to suck time away from us. I started noticing that this person wasn’t calling as much. Little by little I was the one that called, texted and tried to set up time to see each other.
After a while I found myself feeling as if I was no longer a priority. But I didn’t speak up right away. I made excuses of the reasons why they seemed to not hold up their end of the relationship because I didn’t want to make a fuss.
Then I started noticing that every time I spoke with this person they talked only about themselves. It was as if they forget how to have a normal back and forth conversation.
I often left our encounters feeling drained, wondering where my friend had gone. Despite this, I hesitated to address it so as not to hurt their feelings, especially since they always expressed care and support. I initially thought I might be overreacting, but over time, I
grew frustrated and resentful as their words felt empty – all talk and no action.
Deciding to journal about my emotions, I realized that communicating with my friend was the best course of action. I expressed to them my feelings of disconnect, hoping for acknowledgment and a positive change in our relationship.
My friend understood my perspective and attentively listened to all my concerns. Although we didn't always agree on every issue, we made sure to hear each other out.
I would like to share with you all the insights I gained from this experience:
Firstly, just as I advise my clients, "your feelings are valid," it's essential to acknowledge the validity of my own feelings too.
Secondly, voicing your feelings when you feel unheard or unseen by loved ones is crucial for your mental well-being and the strength of the relationship.
Lastly, when upset with someone, it's important to reflect on your own actions. Do your actions align with your words? Be sure to self reflect and dive into some things that you may need to work on.